a.:.proper.:.fool

My great mistake, the fault for which I can't forgive myself, is that one day I ceased my obstinate pursuit of my own individuality // Oscar Wilde

Tag: love

// Kelsey & Jacob.

DSC_0047 DSC_0056 DSC_0062 DSC_0073 DSC_0087 DSC_0088 DSC_0094 DSC_0122 DSC_0130 DSC_0190 DSC_0229 DSC_0237 DSC_0286 DSC_0307 DSC_0340 DSC_0364 DSC_0366 DSC_0372 DSC_0374 DSC_0379 DSC_0414 DSC_0438 DSC_0441 DSC_0447 DSC_0459 DSC_0469 DSC_0487 DSC_0489 DSC_0500 DSC_0502 DSC_0503This past weekend, I was fortunate enough to be the Maid of Honor, hair dresser, general nerve-calmer, blubbering mess, and makeup artist in my older sister’s wedding.

The night before, I had ever intention of telling the people who do not know Kelsey and Jacob very well my take on how they met and how their relationship has grown over the past five years. Of course, the tears took over, and I mostly rambled about coffee shops.

So here, for all of you, is what I saw of Kelsey and Jacob, before they dated, before they engaged, and now, before they were husband and wife–

I had a difficult time trying to decide what to say about Kelsey and Jacob. Part of me wanted to focus on my relationship with Kelsey, through the arguments over emptying the dishwasher, the hide-and-seek games that usually left us lost in the woods, the games we played that involved being too harsh on our Barbies and ended with “SURGERY! DOCTOR, WE MUST RE-ATTACH THE HEAD!” 

But I really had a hard time coming up with what to say about our adult lives that would be separate from Jacob. I remember when they first met–Kelsey rushed home and read out loud (mostly crying from laughter) the emails between she and a new customer at work. They were full of references and witty remarks, and Kelsey could not wait to respond.

And from that moment on, Jacob was a part of everything we did. He became just as much my friend as Kelsey’s. He would pick me up when I had a bad day and drive for hours. We would pick up coffee (which he apparently didn’t even like, but my sister and I have always loved), we would watch tv and look through magazines for hours, and we would talk about Kelsey. He was not shy about telling me that he knew he and Kelsey would be together some day. He knew that first day five years ago, and he’s known it all along.

Kelsey has always been my best friend. And over the years, Jacob has become one of my best friends. And I do not think that I could have let her go if that were not the case.

These are just the behind-the-scenes photos and the ones I took before the ceremony began. The photographer’s photos haven’t been posted yet, but I can’t wait to see them! If you have any questions about what products we used, let me know!

// happy.

I’ve been meaning to write a post for the past week becauase I was so excited to get to visit the boy my boyfriend best friend for his graduation this past weekend. But you know, there are some things that don’t have words. This is one of them. So happy.

Here are a few moments (when I actually remembered both my camera and my battery). It should be noted that Texas is really, really, really hot. I went through a bottle of sunscreen and still returned to the East Coast with more freckles. DSC_0008 DSC_0062 DSC_0067 DSC_0070 DSC_0081 DSC_0094 DSC_0101 DSC_0106 DSC_0113DSC_0116

// Ninesday.

NOTE: Ninesday will be moving from Thursdays to Fridays from now on.

9. This past Wednesday, I had an impromptu ladies’ night. We had dinner at a great Vietnamese restaurant in Greenwich, then saw Frances Ha at the IFC. The movie was so beautiful and true-to-life. It reminded me of all of my leading ladies–Kelsey, Allison, Alyssa, and of course sister Kelsey…go watch it and think about us. I laughed, I cried, I remembered the good times.

8. So I’ve been doing some reading. Why are we obsessed with these shiny things, again? I mean. Sure, it would be lovely to get a beautiful, glittering rock from a boy. But then again, it would be lovely to get a normal piece of jewelry, too. Why all the fuss? Business Insider explains all of the details here. What do you think–would a plain ring be just as meaningful as a diamond engagement ring?

7. I am taking a portfolio class from the Fashion Portfolio Academy, currently. Maybe one day my sketches will look as effortless and beautiful as this one. And maybe, even further in the future, I’ll be able to use watercolor like this. SWOON.

182830456774_AXOzwsnj_l

6. When I was packing for this summer’s move, I was determined to only bring the “necessities.” Somehow, that definition did not cover full-size toiletries, rain boots (and it has been raining every other day since I got here), or my boyfriend-fit jeans. What was I even thinking?! This style blogger makes me miss the world’s most comfortable pair of denim even more. Every time I am scouring my closet and creating a whirlwind of “this looks so much worse than I thought” cast-offs, I think of my Zara jeans. And cringe at my packing deficiency.

5. This just might be the most perfect pair of summer boots I’ve ever seen. Dear Loeffler Randall, feel free to mail me a pair. I’d wear them every day. Literally, every day. Oh, it’s going to be 95 degrees, but feel like 105? I don’t even care. And while all of you are drooling over the perfect shapes on the Loeffler Randall website, check out this clutch. To die for.

718_3_

4. Last time I was in ATL, Alyssa bought me this hat as a going away present, even though I am far from being a Brewer’s fan (or any sports ball fan, really). I wonder if I can pull off this style and wear it to work. I would love to dress it up and wear it on week days. While you’re at it, check out the Accidental Executive’s tumblr. I love the layout & her story.

3. My hair is getting longer, but I am pretty consistently wanting it to be shorter. Due to haircut prices, maybe I’ll work on styling my hair more like this as it grows out…I wonder if it requires using a straightener. Hm, anyway. I think I want to dye it pink. But more like this or this instead of this.

e349482fa6fb3b994f7ba8665069c7a0

2. I have this habit of going into a bookstore, reading the synopsis of several books, then choosing one at random. In doing so, I generally forget what the synopsis was, and delve into the story without any clue as to what is actually happening. I am currently reading Elizabeth Costello by JM Coetzee. So far, an excellent read. I don’t update my Goodreads much, but I decided to add this to it.

1. You guys. I’m seeing The Postal Service tomorrow. The 13-year-old me is dying a little. As well as the 23-year-old me, obviously. I’m also excited because this will be my first solo concert. Concerts are usually things I have done with friends–we would all pile into the car, pack a ton of snacks that could rot your teeth out, and sing purposefully off-key…and here I am, venturing into adulthood at a show I would have died to see in prepubescence. There’s something extra ironic about this. All of that aside, I’ll be searching for freckles in my eyes and dancing horribly, without worrying that I’m embarrassing anyone.

This seemed to appropriately express my excitement, so I thought I’d repost it–

[gickr.com]_fe0cf982-c2f1-82b4-65fd-419b3911b2d3

// things my mother has taught me.

It is bright and early in NYC and as I lay here, unable to sleep for all of the butterflies that are moving and bustling about in my tummy, mimicking the cars buzzing about beneath me, I think of my mother.

There are so many memories being conjured as I sleep lay wide awake at 6 am, awaiting the sun’s company–memories of lasagna, memories of the time I was certain that she loved my older sister more than me (she did buy her the Scooby Doo swimsuit, after all!), the memories are flooding as I relive the post-graduation trip to Rome and walking around the entire city, her stubbornness disallowing any request for direction, coupled with visions of simpler times as I fall asleep on her hap, defeated by schoolwork, my young “love” life, and failed friendships.

As I sit here on this twin bed, with its new scratchy sheets, staring out over the Hudson river, while the sun slowly peeks above the buildings, I think of my mother. She has taught me to chase the impossible and pick myself up when I make mistakes. She has given me the opportunity to pursue my dreams and to cautiously, yet boldly move forward. She has taught me to live, sans fear of what might come.

DSC_0035

As I finished packing yesterday, she snuck this tiny fragile glass pig into my bag, named Penelope. With it, was a note: “With her head-strong determination and good fortune, Penelope is the perfect depiction of overcoming impossible odds!”

To my mother, who believes in me even when I do not believe in or trust myself.

Saturday mornings with Nana.

She is my heart.

 

{.:.the stitches in your winter clothes.:.}

{.:.Yesterday, Lucas spent about 45 minutes playing music. I secretly took a photo of this moment.:.}

I have a bad habit of procrastinating (this is unrelated to the photo, in case you didn’t realize that). I will begin to do things weeks in advance, and somewhere in the middle, I decide that I write better the night before when I can really “feel” my deadline.

Despite this knowledge, I am still stressed out to the point that I have become an unrecognizable, angry being who no longer even resembles my “usual” self. But if this is the constant due to the procrastination disease, am I then actually disagreeable?! Let’s hope not.

In keeping with my Facebook addiction, or what once was, I have regained a slight connection via twitter.My user name is doue_fille, so follow me!

{.:.I will attempt to not put much stock in my twitter account, otherwise I will face the same problem as with Facebook.:.}